Nine months is quite a big duration
To bond with each other
Hearing to what was going around
Feeling the emotions and the warmth
We shared the same womb.
As I came out of the tummy
My umbilical cord was first cut
From you and mom I was separated
Well before you, my journey in the outside world began
And within thirteen minutes yours.
Sharing the same cradle for months,
I never knew that we were two
Even as we grew up into toddlers
We were just one individual
And our names were never called out separately.
Sharing the same bed for years
We shared the books, the toys, and even friends
We dressed alike
I wore red, you blue, always
And the haircut, the hairdo was the same too.
You were my other half
So was I for you
We completed each other perfectly
We stole the adorable stares of the people around
And it always ended us up with pride.
Giving a classical form of performances, always duet
We won accolades, became the talk of the town
The Twin sisters, we were always addressed
Identified by the passers-by with approving smiles
And we flaunted our thick long braided hair.
You an inch taller than me
A shade brighter than me
A little leaner than me
Always scored more than me
And you were all praises and me unnoticed.
I, a foodie and you the opposite
I, a fun loving and jovial while you a grumpy one most of the time
I never had secrets while you always had one
Not about boys or some wrongdoings
It was about your preparation for the exam.
I neither studied nor did my homework
While you were always ready to head on with pre-preparation
For the day ahead in the class and exams
While I always waited for the last moment preparation
That always would be uncompleted.
You passed your answer sheets to me
I copied just to get the passing score
You were the pride of our parents
While I was made to feel that I never would rise up
From the fall. A deep fall rather.
The textbooks were yours when we had one old set
Borrowed from friends, the compass box too
It was all yours only up until new ones arrived
The old ones were passed on to me
For I was the one who brought distress.
But nothing mattered to me, to you, to us
Because we were not two
You packed my bag sometimes
While I loved combing your curly hair opposite to my straight strands
And years just rolled by.
The bond weaved strong and firm
We became the best of friends
Shared our problems, most common
About mom and dad’s fights
Soothed, supported, motivated each other.
Plans for every little action were in places
For breakfast, for co-curricular activities
For homework, for chores and academics
Subtle yet strong signals and gestures we exchanged often
Were worth a thousand words and emotions.
But deep within, with the passing years
It took us a bit too late to fathom that
we were two different individuals
Who ought to live two different lives
And there came a realization, we were poles apart.
As fate would have it
We parted ways when we were twenty
To begin a new beginning of our individuality
I remained where I was, but you were on your career ladder
Your life happening with new events.
The loss I felt at your absence
So much less of who I am being beyond description
I believe you too must have undergone the same
Yet, suffice to say, your life was yours and mine was mine
And on went our journey of making our identities.
It took me years to bridge the gap I created
Knowingly or unknowingly, about my career, my life
‘You are the eldest among the two, so you should be tolerant.’
The knowledge imbibed in me ever since my childhood suddenly toppled
I became the second child when your marriage was settled.
The turbulence, the confusion, and the sudden change
I did not bother much about
But it always sneaked a peep every now and then
Only to make me realize that I had to be a little serious in my life
The damages caused were all beyond repair.
Destiny kept intervening,
My fate followed yours
First, a government job what our parents believed was prestigious
You joined the prestigious State Bank of India
And a year later I.
The marriage settlement followed
First yours and then mine,
Then the marriage, first yours and then mine
A coincidence again, we married guys who had an elder sister
And both the respective sisters had one son each.
And then came the kids,
You delivered one and then it was my turn
Again, after four years, you delivered your second child
I followed suit. The simple reason I reasoned
We shared the same horoscope too.
But life went on, the gap was now prominent
In the happenings of our respective lives
Out I pulled myself with all my might
From the clutches of comparative standards
And there, I stood out unique, for none but myself.
Amidst the similarity of situations, we shared
There was one unpredictability looming tall
The one that would take our lifetime struggle
It was, is and will be a lonesome battle for both
Yours, visible and mine invisible.
Being a few minutes elder to you
I take the liberty in pointing out the reality
Based on my experiences of life,
It’s none that comes to our rescue
Instead, we have to stand by our own side.
The near and dear ones may sympathize
Or empathize and come up with advice
But it’s only we who must decide
About the course of actions and solutions
For, it is our life.
To emerge, courage and acceptance
The two elements are requisites to fight off the odds
Tough though, it is worth the try
Expectations are what drifts us away from our own people
From our own selves too.
You like it or not, you take it or not
As you once were a part of me, I feel the need to mention
Being twin is what we have been endowed with
And share the same instincts and seemingly telepathic qualities
So, let us fulfill HIS masterly plans and make life meaningful.
With our respective prevailing situations
Duties abound, we are lost and have drifted away too far
Never to cross our paths ever again
Even if there arises a demanding situation
We play well to keep our cursory exchanges limited.
Suppression leading to dissent, subtle ego playing its roles
Expressions turning into arguments
Leaving us cold, detached and insensitive, is untying the bond we share
So, letting go of the hem that lies tangled in our hold
Is the only option, for we are left with life not long enough.