Uncertainties and unpredictability in Adoptions

Adoption Case study

Rekha and Madhav were unable to bear a child and hence chose adoption to build their family. A poor couple, agreed to place their child for adoption. The woman who had just conceived became the responsibility of Rekha and Madhav. They took care of the mother until she gave birth to a baby girl. As agreed upon, the adoptive parents drove the newborn home. They named her Vrinda.

The couple had a tough time though bringing up the infant; they enjoyed taking care of their new child. Sleepless nights, diaper change and feeding were all taken care on turns. The sweet smile of the little girl soon captured the hearts of all the people around, especially the parents. Vrinda turned ten. By then, she was able to help her mother in the kitchen, with little household chores. She excelled in her academics too.

One evening, after the school Vrinda returned home with her best friend, Ria. Offering Ria some biscuits and snacks, Vrinda opened her study table draw. Jewelries lay scattered along with a few notes of fifties and hundreds. Watching something unusual, Ria questioned Vrinda about the money and the jewelries.

Vrinda would wear the jewelries during her mother’s absence. She disclosed the secret to Ria. She also shared with her that whenever her mother upsets her, she would tear off the important official papers from the files that her mother brings from work to home.

Soon after returning, Ria informed her mother. Ria’s mother contacted Rekha and mentioned about the incident. Rekha couldn’t absorb, at the same time couldn’t blame Vrinda either. But she had to keep a close watch to validate the information. To her shock, she saw Vrinda’s strange behavior of tearing the papers from the files, crumpling and throwing into the dustbin.
In the past, there were instances when the money went missing from Rekha’s bag. She was now able to connect the dots. All she felt she could do was to ask Vrinda directly. And there came a big NO.

Puzzled, confused and clueless, days passed on with such instances happening often. Counseling, one of her friend suggested. Weekly once, spending thousands of bucks getting counseled by the psychologist, was an expensive affair for the couple. However, after trying for three months, they gave up. There wasn’t any significant change in the child either. More so, the financial drain did not allow them to continue. Being silent spectators, the couple is living days of unpredictability regretting their wrong decision of adopting Vrinda.

Analysis of the case:

Vrinda who is good at academics and a responsible child could easily be counseled by the parents. Gaining her confidence and trust initially, Rekha instead of hitting the question directly could have initiated with an indirect hint. It is definitely time-consuming and a very gradual process, but things would have been much better if the couple, especially the mother had been able to understand the emotions of the girl who was in a transition phase, growing into a teenager.

Conclusion:

Adoption often entails all such unpredictability. Keeping a watchful eye, and integrating the rewards and punishments, can help to a great extent.

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