Self-doubt is something which has troubled me the most, most of my lifetime, for anything and everything I did, or I decided. Gotten caught in the vicious trap, life always seemed to be in a turmoil. But those were my cards of life and I was the one who had to fight it. No one could either be blamed nor could be of any help. So, I always looked forward to some sort of validations. And then, one evening a banter with one of my relatives happened, adding value to my perspective.
Sharing with you all the thoughtful reflection about gender bias.
It all started with a discussion about one of our common friends’ daughter getting into a medical course after twelfth.
Me: Good that she got into her choice of course.
She: Spending a hefty amount for education and then she must be married off anyway.
Me: But then, she will be leading a life of content unlike our generations had. That makes a big difference.
She: A three-year degree course would be better than spending long years in the medical stream because when girls become career-oriented, cooking and looking after the family will be neglected.
Me: We too had our careers, but did we neglect our family?
She: Of course, we didn’t. That’s because we did not have a choice. But it’s different today. Daughters should never be pampered because they get used to it. Right from the beginning, they should be denied of their demands. Pampering makes them impatient and they never compromise. Once, they get onto their career ladder, they will not be aware of the household chores or cooking. And for all the problems, divorce is the solution they come up with. And shopping is another addiction. They know well about how to spend their partner’s money.
Me: We too had hurdles, but we overcame those, didn’t we? Did we ever think about divorce? Times have changed. The younger generation is simpler and easy going. They support each other unlike our generation did. Moreover, vacations, outings, and parties help them find a balance. They are way smarter and intelligent than us. Girls are highly educated and earn just as guys do. Being a mother of a boy, when you expect your daughter-in-law to be highly qualified, how can you not allow her to have a career and live her dream life? And coming to shopping, when she earns why will she spend his money. All she needs is a little attention. Wasn’t it the case with us too?
She: But after a long tiring day at work, can we expect the guy, the bread earner to cook food?
Me: Isn’t it the same with girls too? If cooking is the issue, then a cook can always be hired. But if we raise our sons right we can avoid such complexities in life.
Our conversation projected into another trajectory and I preferred to put an end as I couldn’t take it anymore.
Gender equality, women empowerment, the #metoo movement, etc, with campaigns around when the country is moving ahead, sexist battles are still going on pulling us backward. When will we come out of our stifling age-old beliefs? Where have our moral standards disappeared?