This is a very common case in adoption. Adopted kids with inconsistent and unpredictable caregivers undergo this traumatic condition. It is a condition in infancy where the infant never trusts or feels secure with the caretaker. Parenting an adopted child with attachment problems has to be dealt with care. Else, it can affect their ability to building a connection with the child. To deal with the issue, it is important to know what it entails. It comes with inappropriate, unacceptable, unpredictable, and uncontrollable traits. Controlling is not difficult for those with mild disorder though, it is undeniably a very painful process as it involves the entire lifetime of the child and the parents. Those with severity will have very tough times.
Below are some ways to parenting an adopted child with attachment problems.
- Awareness: The insecurity faced during a child’s initial years is the cause. The changing hands of the primary caregivers affect a child’s health, both mentally and physically. Adoptive parents should be considerate and patient with the child when the child arrives in the new family. It takes time for the child and the parents as well to accept the new member into the family.
- Identify the symptoms: Identifying the symptoms can be hard in the initial stages. But sooner or later it surfaces. The child exhibits a withdrawn behavior, or outbursts of anger, or violent behavior if a child is older. Identifying the symptoms at an early stage can prevent further damage to the delicate bonding process shared between the parents and the adopted child.
- Clear communication: Communication is the key to every relationship. It is much more essential for children who have attachment issues. Eye to eye contact with clear words along with a kind gesture is vital. A smile on your face can be a catalyst.
- One at a time: A child generally is comfortable with the mother. But a father too has a major role. Adoption should have a well-planned strategy with a clear classification of the role of a mother and father. One at a time, include in your adopted child’s life, be it a routine or a person.
- Be consistent: Consistency in your parenting style can help a lot for a child to cope up with his or her new family. A consistent routine along with patience and endurance is much needed. With the planned strategies, every challenging moment can be dealt wisely.
- Spend time as much as possible: The two of you to bond deeply has to be worked on smartly. Especially with younger kids, it is the responsibility of the parents alone to take charge. Spending time together, being with the child, attending to every little need of the child can help your bonding to have a strong base.
To sum up, all a child needs is love and affection. With the right support of the family, a child, adolescent, or young adult with an attachment disorder can experience significant healing and learn to better connect with others. Eating disorders and health issues are other two aspects that need attention. However, parenting an adopted child with attachment problems can be easy by following the above tips.