Adoption talk is something more or less all parents dread having with their children. They often think putting their children through details about adoption at an early age is over-burdening them unnecessarily. Some parents also dread how and where to star. While some fear their child will not handle the adoption news well. It does not necessarily have to be a sudden revelation. Once they grow up, enough to understand, adopted kids must know about his adoption as much as you know. It is easier for the children to process the information if parents provide inconsequential small talks from an early age. This can go a long way in shaping their adulthood.
Here are the six crucial things adopted kids must know before Age six.
- They are adopted: Tell them gradually. Go step by step. By the time they are 6 years old ensure that your child knows that they are adopted. Also, make sure they do not see that in anything but good light. How you develop your child’s thinking about adoption and the whole incident at an early age will shape his future. If as a parent you are unsure how to go about it, get information. They should not only know about their adoption but should also know, it is also the best thing to happen.
- Adoption is normal: You should see to it that your child sees no difference in his growing up as a family than other children. Educate them from an early age how adoption is a normal way and also a great way for families to grow. Inculcate this thought in them from an early age that children can grow up with their adoptive parents or birth parents. And that both are more similar than different.
- Birth-parents: By this time the children reach an age where they should know that they were born in the same way other children are. They did not just appear. Tell them a little about their birth-parents if you know. Save the excruciating details, but you can lay down the groundwork by this age. Also never talk about their birth-parents in any disrespectful way, even if you are not very supportive of their choices.
- Not their fault: Many children tend to think as kids it is something they did which made their birth-parents put them up for adoption. Eradicate any and every such thought from their head right from the start. Always tell them how their birth-parents always loved them and had to put them up for adoption for some valid reason. At this age, the child needs consolation and validation that he or she is the best thing to happen. It is absolutely not their fault.
- Curiosity: Assure them you as their adoptive parents are nothing different and they are your child. Encourage and entertain their queries. Assure them they can ask as many questions as they want and you will answer all their questions.
- Adoptive-parents: Adopted kids must know and have no doubts that their adoptive parents are no different than birth-parents. They should understand that you will love them and care for them the most and will always do so. They are your child and no-one can take that away.Being parents, you should understand that there are certain things that you can never expect from your adopted child.