Daylong chats, a detailed description of likes-dislikes, food to clothes, social media uploads with huge flowery captions is what and how intense relationships are today. Often this obsession in the name of profound love leads to the inception of some serious control issues. The partner somehow finds a way to manipulate the other person’s desires, decisions, and choice makings. From ‘Wuthering Heights’ to ‘Twilight’ to something as grim as ‘Sleeping with the Enemy’, the world has witnessed manipulative partners in reels, reality, and literature. Here the manipulative partner happens to be a control freak and expects everything done their way. If your partner is deciding on where you should go, who you hang out with and life decisions then you’re surviving one such relation. Identify that you are afraid of confessing your resentment for the sake of the relationship. Abiding by your partner, asking for their suggestions should be a part of the relation but never a compulsion. No real love ever challenges your self-respect.
Here we list a few ways to deal with your manipulative partner.
- If he/she asks you to cut down relation with a particular friend or group, don’t always oblige, take him/her for casual hangouts or make them read the conversations. Never give up close people for the sake of one relation.
- Learn to say ‘no.’ ‘NO’ is the most subtle yet potent weapon to deal with the situation. Never follow it up with an explanation. You’re an individual first, with your rights to choose – Delay such conversations with “We will talk about this later.”
- If you are being asked to dress in a particular manner by your partner, do pay heed to what they say but not always murdering your desires. Switch for whatever attire you like when you’re not with him/her.
- If they seem to be not very fond of your family and aim to separate you from them, trust us, they aren’t worth it. Don’t leave people who served you for the longest period unless it’s an ‘honour’ issue (read caste and religion).
- If they choose to punish you emotionally for not abiding by them, don’t apologize for the sake of the relation ever! If you believe your actions were justified, never give in. Rather raise your voice when and where required.
- Your dreams are what you’re living for! That’s what keeps every individual alive and motivated. Any slightest change in it just because you partner doubts your financial stability, shouldn’t be accepted. For all the ladies, give up your job/ profession, only if you want to. Never because your partner wants you to.
- You can try and sort things by making them realize your perspective (most likely if they love you, they’ll understand). You can’t change another person, but you definitely can work on yourself. If you feel suffocated, reeled under the baggage of the relation, don’t ‘adjust’ just because you made a commitment to someone. You’re your hero first, value yourself first and then belong to someone else. Don’t be afraid to make a drastic step and ‘move on.’
Knowing where to draw the line is extremely essential. Loving and caring for someone and trying to put up with their minor flaws and quirks, is one thing. And letting another person completely dominate, manipulate and to a great extent control your life and lifestyle is a whole different thing. You should know to differentiate and make a call. But remember, once you are in a committed relationship, you have to choose wisely. Living with a manipulative partner can be tough. But, at the same time, there is always a scope for turning the situation into something productive by accepting your manipulative partner.