As we wade into the exciting first week of 2017, the looming new promises, the new hopes, new aspirations and new goals ahead of us inspire us to take up new challenges. Keeping in view the experiences of our past and evaluating failures and success we plan our future course of actions and explore a path to success. Retrospection stimulates our minds instilling us with new strategies and methods. To rise and be a better version of self is a basic human instinct and so are all our struggles. Be a good father or a good mother, or be a good child, be it anything, we all strive to become the best version of ourselves. But along the way, we fall short of certain aspects, and we are completely unaware of it many a time. The realization comes as a blow at the most unexpected time and source.

My important lessons of retrospection before I dive into 2017:

Certain instances blow out of proportion. It is then we get carried away and tend to fall into a pattern of finding an amicable solution. All we are left with is to rely on some third parties who for us seem, a well-wisher. And we surrender ourselves to that source and permit them to take the control of our emotions. We pay a high amount of money to listen to them and we follow their instructions without fail. Hoping for the better, we trust them blindly and follow their instruction without questioning. These third parties are psychological counselors.

One such instance I came across recently is surely a topic to retrospect what until now I felt was unimportant and I never felt to highlight.  But it’s an important phase what I can never ever forget in my life and hence this piece of writing. A long pending task of referring my child to a psychologist never had any urgency. But I happened a platform which I thought can help me overcome my fear of doubt that my child is a little different from the other kids of his age.

We had the first visit, then the second and the third sessions of counseling. The fourth and the fifth took on some other levels such as assessments and medication. Four long months elapsed and there was a slight improvement, though, I was not convinced for reasons I could just sense but couldn’t put into words but all I felt myself questioning, “didn’t I work on all these aspects? But what was the outcome?” logical part always took over me and answered, “maybe you were wrong in some ways, what’s wrong in giving it another try?”

To narrate, in short, my fourteen years of the upbringing of my child was wrong. And then, started the counseling. And the assessment report arrived. The report indication was that he had some major issues. And during the following sessions, I was politely told that I had never taught my child in a proper way and hence he is lagging behind. The basic training of brushing the teeth, combing the hair, controlling the emotions, all the basic lessons had to begin from the scratch. When I inquired about the therapy sessions and the rates, the response was a shock because of the high rates. “How can the pattern of fourteen years be changed in just a few hours?” When asked, the response was, “it is you, who has to take the charge, we give the instructions here.” The sentences left me speechless and discouraged me to the core. As I listened to the psychologist all I had to do was to keep a check on my raging emotions because I neither could confront nor could accept the impractical ways they came up with.  There were thousands of such little issues.  How can two hours in a week mold my child? was the only question that was bombarding mind.

‘Having tried and failed with all the possibilities, knowing the matter to the depth, when helplessness is what we face, we tend to give up and find some other sources to set the problems right. And there we find psychologists with all the explanations what we cannot even imagine. And it quite shocks us when we here that it is the fault of the parents having not taught the child. We agree with them and get ready to undergo the therapies and treatments. We pay them and get the advice and instructions what we already know,’ is the new definition I term for psychology.

Mistake or experience, I am unable to comprehend, how I should term it as but the lesson it has taught me is definitely a valuable lesson what I wish to tell people.


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