Changing cities and I have been the best of friends in recent years following husband around his various postings. Just as I start feeling settled in one city, my mind is already up for another change. This is how and when my distorted lifestyle began and it went zooming further.
The pattern being set for quite some time now, there always are some giveaways of household items in the process of winding up and lugging around the shifting process. And the giveaway items are replaced by a newer version, add-ons to my collection of prized possession with my emotions attached to each one of those.
Ticking on each item listed in my must-have list, purchasing, figuring the right place for all of it, working on the right lighting, it had taken quite some time and energy in creating the warm cozy vibe in every room of my home. Especially kitchen with all the accessories, the bedroom with the most expensive mattresses, my study systematically set up with a huge rack, collection of books, and my favourite recliner chair, lit just the right amount, in one corner of the room. And the arrangement was not to change for at least the next few years. Much to my surprise, my distorted life started aligning.
It wasn’t just materials. It was an extension of myself, my identity, my lifestyle. Filled in them were my dreams, my wishes to be fulfilled. It was my foundation of transition to yet another phase of my life, a life to live as per my terms and tunes, working on my passion, ticking on my to-do list. Most importantly it was a solace for an angst-ridden, forty-something me coping up with the empty nest.
Materialism indeed is bad but for me, it was a chance for a new start, a new goal setting. It ignited something in me, motivating me, assuring me with hopes and aspirations. I resumed writing, reading, and started learning astrology, my long pending dream. My otherwise boring uneventful life had taken a u-turn.
But then this unexpected inevitable need of my family popped up. I had to leave my tastefully created comfort space. As luck would have it, the lockdown snatched my dream world ruthlessly. Getting all my meaningful possession shifted was impossible and I had to abandon all of those. The only option was to let go of all with dignity and so I willfully disposed them off.
It hurts to lose things that are so dear to you. But I choose to consider this as something liberating, yet another opportunity for a new start of something.
Distortion or aligning was it my perception?!