One of the biggest concerns of adoptive parents is whether the adopted child fit in the family. No matter how confident they are and how excited they are, they tend to look at the child and wonder what if he or she does not fit in the family? It is a perfectly normal and common concern, more so if you have another child. It is obviously crucial for the child’s well-being and development to bond well with the parents and siblings if any. But before you go around over-burdening yourself with the query, why not think of another instead. What if he fits in perfectly? Instead of breeding negative thoughts, why not ensure all the positivity you can in welcoming the child in your family. And then take care of all the necessary precautions. Parents need to know and be concerned about the only essential things about adoption – love, care, affection and proper bonding with the child. As long as you bond very well with the child, he will fit right in.
Let’s discuss a few ways to get your adopted child fit in the family.
- Don’t rush
Parents should know that it is a huge change for the kid who they are adopting. Coming into a new family amidst people he doesn’t even know and adjusting as family might sound easy but it is not. The age of the child you are adopting plays a big role here – older the kid is, more will be the difficulties in adjusting. Babies less than a year old might have changes in general pattern, but they won’t be fussy and will soon adjust. Toddlers, on the other hand, can give you a tough time, more so if he has a traumatic past and can suffer from attachment problems or may be some health issues. Give him the time and space to cope up and in the meantime know your child. Love him unconditionally and spend as much time as you can. Practice habits like reading together or listening to music which can be soothing and also keep them calm. Time heals everything.
Developing proper communication with your adopted child is a crucial aspect in the parent-child bonding. Talk to him more, encourage him to respond or chat about anything and everything. If you’re dealing with a baby here, talk more and ensure it soaks up your vocabulary. Develop communication when doing other activities like taking a walk, during play time or otherwise. Not only will this grow a healthy sharing bond, it will also like that you are paying enough attention.
Parent’s touch is the best way to communicate with a young child who has just been adopted into your family. To see that he feels safe, secure and loved in his new family, make sure you hold the adopted kid, hug or cuddle often. Many people tend to overlook the smallest things, but they make a huge impact on kids trying to cope in a situation like this and even a pat on the shoulder can encourage them and make them happy.
If you are maintaining a healthy communication and bond well, you can help you adopted child fit in the family. They will no different than having your own biological child.