Parenting children with mild disorders
Vaidansh is a thirteen-year-old boy. His day always starts with grumbles for n-number of reasons. First and the foremost, it is because he was woken up, second, for chasing him brush his teeth, next for finishing his breakfast even if it is his favourite, and then follows the repeated reminders to have him have his bath, get him ready for school – getting him comb his hair, button the shirts and tie the shoe lace, get his bag packed, and finally reminding him the ready-to-grab lunch box on the table. The evenings, after his return from school, the set of reminders remain unaltered. Above all, getting his bladders emptied before he goes to sleep is the toughest.
For every reminder, his face turns into a knot and then follows his mutters. By now, I hope, you can imagine what it takes to make him sit and get him read, write, or complete his homework. If one has to keep him glued to the chair, it is the television shows, computer games or mobile phones. The gadgets come as a great relief when guests show up. A close watch around the clock to monitor and guide him is a must.
Rarely when he is left alone with none around him watching, he sets on his path, exploring things. To name a few are burning a book, cutting a quilt with the scissor, slipping away from the house without informing, pulling out some notes from the wallet, or latching himself in the bathroom with some stuff to play with or go on a cycle ride only to return back after long hours. I lost my way….I fainted……I fell down……I was stuck….are some of the reasons, he comes up with.
His books are always incomplete or scribbled or pages were torn. Often, complaints pour in from school for his behavioural issues. And from the neighborhood too. He is unable to mix up with other kids at play.
It was only during academic year-end he is forced to sit by his mother. Her quick, without getting into much detail of the lessons, helps him to get through the exams with the least score.
Tired to the core, this time, things had to change, she thought and came up with a new idea. A simple easy trick that did not require any emotional investment, ‘No study, No play…..’. The strict adherence, without letting her will lose on his pleases’/sorrys’/ requests’ for last chances’, was though difficult, she had to try. To her pleasant surprise, it worked.
The above case highlights the mild disorder in the child, Vaidansh. He has to be reminded of every little work, which is unusual in normal kids. And parenting such a child is a herculean task. Keeping it simple without complications, his mother came up with a smart solution.
Quite often such mild disorders are overlooked, simply categorizing the child to be lazy or naughty. Parents need to understand their child’s capacity and keep their expectations reasonable as every child comes with different temperament and quotients. Children also come with mild disorders.